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Sunday, March 30, 2014

Too Much, Too Little

Feeling very "in between" these days. Oh, not like lots of folks, who have been going on about wanting it to be spring for weeks... or maybe months. I will say, though, that the warming trend that all but cleared our driveway yesterday -- after the end of the week storm that "only" redistributed enough snow to all but drift it shut again and made me thankful for an all wheel drive car, a straight driveway and much experience in judging how and when to just power through it all (it had been promoted as a major snow producing nor'easter) and dropped the overall snow pack visibly against the unofficial markers -- clothes lines now higher above "ground" and our can-on-a-stick for target practice no longer is in danger of being actually buried -- has made me antsy a bit.

Yes, anxious, even, for "mud season." and it looks like we will have a good one this year!

Shortly, I'll swap out the pic on my Facebook account to reflect crossing another month off the countdown in the Year of Transition. I have to make the "6" image today. Half a year down, half to go. No wonder I am feeling between, eh?

I was thinking this week that I really want a slower pace of life. LOL Not that the good ol' rat race has caught up with me here in the wilds of the Northlands, mind you... but never the less I need fewer irons in the fire and the sooner the better. I fear, though, that I am projecting that a little TOO hard, as the hours from my part time "day job" continue to be cut to almost a level of "why bother." Unfortunately the work load does not also shrink. Less money and less stress might be more tolerable; less money and more stress is decidedly a downer.

The hex orders are down. Truck is still not fixed, though at least the engine which ate up all of my meager reserves is here, missing some necessary parts and I have to go tomorrow to deal with the mechanic on that... and listen to his "I told you..." And then, of course, figure how to get, and afford, the extra parts.

And to add insult to injury, many of my last years seeds have decided not to germinate. Apparently the cabbages and their kin do not hold well; I have zero germination on cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts and only a few cabbages. Crossing fingers that I can score some replacements at the seed swap later today. And finding a reason to give thanks for the later spring.

Brewing Beer at Rural Living Day
Pasture Management at
Rural Living Day
This weekend will be a whirlwind of going and doing. And as much as I learned yesterday at a Rural Living Day (classes on egg production, pasture management and beer brewing) and as much fun as I had carpooling with some friendly farmer ladies, and as much as I need, and am looking forward to the seed swap (and more classes) and regular pot luck today, I think the timing was off, for me.

It doesn't help that our car, the well used Subaru, Boo, is continuing to develop issues that need to be addressed. She needs new shocks and most recently began making a terrible "my brakes are gonna fail, fix me damn you!" sound. And we have no backup for the backup, with Artie the truck still tarped in the mechanic's back lot.

And it all takes money (which is in short supply) and time (ditto) and energy (double ditto -- 'cause both of us are feeling the strains of getting older, at the least).

So yeah, I'm whining, bitching, complaining, ranting... hoping that getting it out and sharing my frustration with the dark moon today will allow me to move forward, enjoy the day and the weeks to come, empower more hex sign orders, make productive use of the extra time-on-farm that my 10 hour work week this week provides, and allow that spring inside me that somehow got over-wound to release that potential energy in a spring FORWARD move.