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Sunday, May 27, 2018

I Do Not Support Vulnerability

I do not support vulnerability.  The dictionary defines it as "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally," and I honestly do not understand how folks can say that is a good thing.

I have heard or read discussions that suggest that it is necessary for compassion and empathy. I am really not sure about that, either. Now, I may not be the most people-oriented, touchy-feely human on the planet -- let me rephrase that, I know I am not the most people-oriented, touchy-feely human on the planet -- but from in here, it has always seemed to me that I have sufficient compassion and empathy to at least pass as a fair-to-middling example of a decent human being. And as far as I know, I have never been even close to having been mistaken for a sociopath or serial killer. Your mileage, of course, may vary. But I am writing here about myself and my experiences.
This is how I see the world at a distance right now
with or without my glasses.
 I come to this topic as a result of nearly two weeks of feeling, for the first time in my life, extremely vulnerable. This has been caused by my recent eye surgery and will become more extreme, most likely,  in another 2+ weeks, for some time after that. My eye surgeon did warn me that my vision would be negatively impacted for some time, but the emotional aspect went totally unaddressed. 

I suspect it is very different for those who choose the "distance vision" option for the implanted lens. My guess, considering how well my left eye works at the close vision distance at which the lens is designed to focus, is that -- had I chosen that option -- I would be able to cover one eye and have decent focus, though a lack of depth perception which would make some difficulty. Instead I see almost the entire world as an impressionist painting. 

I cannot quickly locate the source of a sound that may indicate a problem (where IS that dog the neighbor is shouting at, from the road in front of the house? Was that chicken picking on chicken or do we have a stupid one in the dog yard or a marauding domestic pet?)

I cannot quickly distinguish a potential threat unless it is moving quickly (in this case, bees in the dandelions and I realized the issue before I actually stepped on one) but -- sitting in the truck in a store parking lot in town a few days before a holiday weekend -- I felt like I needed to make sure I did all the necessary errands while K was with me. I was just that much off my game... me, who has never been afraid to walk or drive anywhere, in any city, by virtue of my ability to "read" people and react to defuse or avoid what might be dangerous situations. I guess I have to see them to read them; it seems my ESP is off its game as well

If emotional vulnerability is anything like the physical kind I am currently dealing with, all I have to say is "no wonder 'everyone' out there is terrified of everyone and everything!"

I am expecting to get decent functionality back as a result of all this... eventually. But I also know that one's senses often decline as we age. If that happens to me, I will likely become even more of a recluse than I am. So for those of you who are concerned about elderly friends and ccc
Even inside the house
things have an
impressionist
feel.
ccc relatives that seem to stay at home and not want to go out and about even if they used to enjoy it, perhaps this is why. And perhaps, even if they aren't comfortable "out and about" they might enjoy having the "out and about" brought to them from time to time... as a visit from a friend bearing take out from a favorite "greasy spoon" and a six pack of their favorite brew, or a skein of yarn in a favorite color from their local yarn shop, in the hands of a friend who also likes to sit and knit. Or even a small basket of tomatoes straight from the garden, or a pail of peas with the warmth of the sun still on them in the hands of a gardening friend for a session of "sittin' and shellin' " or just a swapping of "back in the day" stories of gardens and plants from the past. 

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Slow and steady? More like slow and frustrated!

Gods has this been a strange month so far!

I'll Pack a Cowl
for Rhineback
pattern, Ravelry
While I typically do more knitting in the winter than in garden season, I took a (for me, very expensive) class on color work the middle of April and have been hard at work on the cowl that was the class project. While it was touted as "Fair Isle," my research indicated that traditional Fair Isle includes small, more detailed patterns instead of the larger, pictorial areas of color in the cowl. I will follow that thread (or yarn, as the case may be) later. For now, I need a repeat attack on this pattern to solve my tension problem. The shaping, while it does work (I lucked out and the central part is still large enough for me to get my head through!) is not intentional. It has been suggested that knitting "inside out" is a way to address this issue and I will be following up on that shortly.

meat chickens read to
go outside!
Meat birds outside home.
Our meat birds, which arrived on April 5, have been growing like weeds! But with the damp, cold spring, they had to stay inside much longer than typical for us. 

Red Rangers, discovering grass.
We finally got a warmer, dry spell and set up our old easy-up shelter with chicken wire around the perimeter, and the metal dog crate -- sans bottom tray -- for their outside home. This will be the last hurrah for this shelter, as one of the metal supports failed almost immediately, not the metal, but the plastic connector. I had considered sewing a replacement fabric top -- as it has had threadbare places and leaks for years -- but I will not bother since it is really not worth it with the structural failure. Starting today (after I am done planting the flax and wheat, of course! The bird run to me when they see me -- two legged feeder syndrome, I guess -- and the seeds would not stand a chance) I will begin letting them range during part of the day.
Custom 16" Earth Blessing sign

In the hex world, I completed this custom 16" Earth Blessing sign. It will hang on the door of a lady with Alzheimer's, so I am told. This was a short deadline job, but I felt blessed to be ask to do this work.

48" diameter Abundance, Prosperity
and Smooth Sailing Through Life
Below is a traditional Abundance, Prosperity and Smooth Sailing Through Life sign, in custom colors which I just completed. This sign will hang around here on the farm until the end of the month, as its new owner will be picking it up in person. It will live here in Maine!

I have two circles cut, sanded and primed, ready to be drawn and painted. I made sure to get these ready, because I had eye surgery this week, to remove the first of two cataracts. The doc said to avoid dusty environments! LOL Like this is even possible here... But I am doing my best to not make more dust and I have a pair of goggles to wear when I am outside in the garden, the coop or when it is windy (... like most of the time!)

I am being very frustrated by this surgery thing, as necessary as it is. Unfortunately the doc to whom I was referred is only in the office I go to every other week. While I got on the schedule for the first eye very quickly, I have to wait until the middle of next month for the second eye to be done, and then there will be some time after that before I can get a new prescription for my glasses. I am glad that the doc saw the rationale behind giving me a bionic lens that was set for close vision, rather than for distance. I cannot imagine how disturbing it would be to me to have to use glasses to do needlework, read or paint, as I have always removed my glasses for such work. But at this point, while my distance vision is currently sufficient for me to drive -- at least on familiar routes -- it is not good enough for me to
Not quite the pirate look
the shield is only for bed
time now.
distinguish baby asparagus shoots from the weeds and grasses while standing, nor can I easily make out emerging seedlings (if there are any!) of the spinach, beets and carrots I planted. Fortunately I can see the pea plants and know that I need to get their trellis up ASAP. With this strange lack of clarity -- think of it as looking at the world as Monet saw it -- I am having strange dreams and am less than fully functional, even inside doing daily house chores. This is going to be a STRANGE summer!







Friday, May 4, 2018

What a long strange month it has been!

It's been almost a month since I last blogged, despite my best efforts to the contrary. I guess I got derailed by an unexpected trip to Boston last month and have been scrambling to catch up and try to at least catch the wave, if not get ahead of it since then.

One of my daughters was, once again, running the Boston marathon and I was able, at the last minute, to arrange a trip down to Beantown to visit with her, my son-in-law and her eldest daughter. It appears I do not travel as well as in the past, as planning for, taking and recovery from the trip seems to have eaten at least two weeks. Not that I regret going, far from it. It
They are in there somewhere!
B.A.A. 5K start.
was great to see Mandy and to watch the three of them take off on the 5k race that the B.A.A. put on the Saturday before the famous marathon.

My daughter contacted me before the trip and said that they had planned to visit Salem, MA on this trip east, and wanted to see the town with "a real witch." How could I not find a way to go!

While we were in Salem, I got the chance to see the Witch Trials Memorial, which was especially moving because a friend of mine is an 8xgreat granddaughter of the last person hung during that incredibly barbarian time. I paid my respects at the stone
bench dedicated to Samuel Wardwell and used a few bits of reed I found on site and some yarn I had been spinning on my trip to make the solar/Brigid's cross that I left as a blessing.

While I was in Boston I had to make sure to visit the Make Way for Ducklings statues in the Boston Commons. In the week leading up to my trip, I had been busily knitting a scarf for Mrs.
Mrs. Mallard and me.
 Mallard, from local wool, which I carded, spun and knit in the grease to help keep her warm and repel the cold snow and rain that fell during my visit and plagued the race.

I was pleased to discover that, along with the Easter hats that mama duck and her brood were sporting upon my arrival, that my scarf seems to have stayed as part of the tableau for some time, as evidenced by photos found with the #makewayforduckings hash tag.

And on an additional fiber note, I can report that it is indeed possible to use a suspended spindle on a Greyhound bus, and to "twiddle-spin" with a supported spindle as one of three passengers in a ride provided by an Uber driver!