Ok so what have I been up to on the road of transition thus far? Well, lots of thinkin' and a bit of doin'.
Been talking to the other half about "for better or worse, but not for lunch" type issues. For most of our time together as a couple, I have been very busy with work, much of it away from home, and he has been some semblance of a house husband, as much as his body would allow. I concentrate very intently when I am working and it can make those around me feel excluded (well, 'cause they are) and really much like an extra wheel if they try to interrupt. So we have things to work on.
For my part, I have learned (via past relationships) how to do "my thing" when others around me are not busy at something, or even are asleep. My ex- worked nights much of our time together, which accounts for a lot of it. I still have to remind myself, after a fashion, to do what needs doing these days, especially as K is ailing more than usual and tending to sleep a lot. And since he is not even as well as he was, he is often not up to doing things that he used to in the past, which makes HIM feel even worse when I do them because they need doing. Something else we have to work on. I think this will need to be an issue with his counselor, as this is not something that will change for the better.
After being a mom of 5, though, I am not one who is going to jump in and do one of "his" chores if it doesn't get done as quickly or efficiently as it might have in the past. I hope that helps. Not sure it will though.
For myself, I am working a bit more on doing things that I used to do, which are important to me but have been let go due to lack of time and energy. Now, mind you, I don't really have a lot of extra time OR energy at this point... but picking up the threads, little by little, I hope, will make it easier to hold the reins firmly as the year turns. One of my threads is self-reliance and a move more towards food independence. I have pretty much decided not to grow for market in the future and instead to focus on supplying us with food in season and sufficient to put up for the off season while minimizing waste. Another on the food thread is making more of what we may currently buy: tortillas (both corn and wheat), noodles, soda crackers and bread are all in my bag of tricks and I would like to get back to making all of them, once I have the time. Today I put up eggs in the freezer, in bags of three yolks and one whole egg, to store for making noodles come winter, when egg production wanes. That way, we can have eggs without the hassle or expense of lighting the chicken coop to give them longer days. I think the fowl need the seasonal changes; I know I do!
I also want to get into the habit of recognizing my grand kids (all of whom live across the country from me) at least once a year. With 5 daughters, all but one of whom have multiple children, this could be a major and unaffordable expense not to mention an exercise in frustration trying to remember and coordinate all those birthdays. My idea, which I have just floated to my kids, is to pick a month that I can easily associate with each of my daughters, and use that as the month in which I surprise their kinder with gifts from Grandma. I figure to send out an email to each daughter a month in advance, for updates on what each of the young'us is into, and then I'll have a month to come up with something cool... found or likely made... age and season appropriate and relevant to both the child's interests and granny's crazy way of looking at life.