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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Elvis' Wild Ride

Elvis, as you may remember, is our relatively new rooster. He is a beautiful bird, but not terribly long on brains, it would seem, even for a typically bird-brained species. He has taken to roosting on my pickup truck, Artie, at night. The first night he found the passenger side wiper a sufficient place to rest; after "wiping" him off and then having to take to the window with a scrubbie from the kitchen to remove his residue, I am glad that he decided the side of  the bed was a better place to bed down and even more happy that, each night, he sleeps face IN, and that  he is sufficiently large than his droppings land on the ground beside the truck.

Elvis settling in for the night.
Just last night we discovered that "deer season" is upon us again. No, not the time when folks take to the woods with weapons and a full freezer on their minds, but rather, when said mammals begin to take interest in dining "al fresco" on fresh, organic veggies.

Dogs were barking as we were dishing up supper last night and K spotted a deer browsing in the far back field. We want to seriously DISCOURAGE them from thinking this is an OK place to be, so I went to the back door and hollered. No luck. Clapped my hands, hit a yardstick on the fence rail... ditto... So I dashed (...slowly... on sore legs and bare feet) out to the truck to use it to run them off. 

Elvis had already gone to roost for the night on the side of the pickup bed, but I figured once I got going he would depart. 

OH HOW WRONG I WAS! I stopped watching him after traversing the rutted ground on the lawn next to the driveway that we were using at one point as a turn-around (mud season....) as I was rapidly gaining speed for the deer drive-by. Artie and I flew around behind the garage, out past the well head, and past the apple tree, heading toward the browsing deer at a reckless pace. I had to get almost to them, honking as I went, before the herd (about 6) began bounding off across the neighbor's drive and into their woods. I didn't see Elvis, and wasn't sure where he might have hopped off... I figured it had been at the first sharp turn, at the garage.However, he must have clung on for dear life, as I think now that I must have lost him on the sharp turn away from the border lilacs after spooking the deer. 

Didn't see him on the return trip (I was looking for him in the side yard by the well, behind the garage). When I got back into the house and looked back into the yard, there was this small, dark speck moving slowly and in an aimless manner in the back field. Elvis was a LONG way from anything he had explored and would know as home. Since he was not getting any closer to the house and dusk was upon us, K offered to go out and run him home. I swear K walked twice as far coming back as he did going out. Apparently a rooster WILL NOT walk a straight line. Either that, or he got into my beer on the back porch. 

I went out on the back stoop to watch the chicken herding, and by the time they got about half way to me, I could hear Elvis. He was cussin' the whole way back.. I don't know exactly what he was saying, but I am real sure that I don't want a translation.

He slept perched on the side of Artie's bed again last night. I wonder, if I have do to another deer drive-by tonight, if he will take the hint. I know I am not going to offer him a ride again, though. I don't want to hear words like that outa a rooster again this soon.