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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Anecdotal Evidence

One of the inevitable aspects of living, our bodies change. When we are young we cannot imagine not being "six feet tall and bulletproof" and when we get more than a few years on us, we likely long for even half of what we once had as we adjust the ways in which we work and struggle to accept the "can't do that anymore" moments that are bound to happen. If you have read my blog much, you will likely know that I am (A) a crone and (B) struggling with knees that, while they have never been quite right, are decided less friendly to me than they used to be. Over the past week or so, I have been noticing more pain and stiffness and an uncomfortable feeling over all in the lower legs and feet. And, as is often the case with chronic pain and discomfort, even at a low level, the constant whining of the body takes its toll on one's attitude and on the rest of the body. Mind you, I don't quit and try not to slow down, but I have to admit that "bitch mode" has been quite close at hand of late. I had also noticed that I had not been sleeping terribly well recently. I often don't take a long enough sleep, so when the down time that I do take doesn't work right, it's noticeable. I've had dreams (not necessarily "disturbing" ones by anyone else's standards.) But to an extent any and all dreams that intrude into my consciousness enough to be remembered upon awakening, especially if there were dreams noted multiple times through the night, as I partially awakened to turn or get up to use the toilet, are disturbing -- or more accurately, disruptive -- to me. I deliberately squashed my ability to remember dreams over 30 years ago, when expecting my first child. A dream that intruded on my consciousness at that time was SO disturbing that I declared "no more" and made it stick for years. I have, since that time, opened myself up to remembering dreams. And noting that there was one on a night is normally not a bad thing. But multiple nights of disrupted sleep, dreams, and bodily discomfort add up. Last night, after my moon ritual as I prepared for bed, my partner suggested that I take a quarter dose (certainly well below what would be considered "therapeutic" dose) of a prescription pain pill that I have left over from my bout with shingles last year. I have used a slightly higher, but less than the prescribed, dose at bedtime before, when I had more severe pain. This morning, I awoke to what feels like a whole new body! Now, this leaves me to wonder... is this an effect of the ritual I did, the extra medication allowing me to get a good and restful night's sleep, or a change in the weather or some other factor. I'm making this post as a way to make note for possible future correlation. And sharing it because someone out there might benefit as well.